Bauer Guitars "Death Of Decency" hand-carved Telecaster (Aaaarrrggghhh! More skulls!)

guitarz.blogspot.com:

Regular readers of Guitarz will likely already know that of all the terrible guitar clichés, my absolute pet hate is skulls on guitars. This hand-carved monstrosity from Bauer Guitars has hundreds of the bloody things, plus tombstones, and even the figure of Death himself with his scythe. I don't know what more I can say about this guitar. It's certainly not my kind of thing despite the artistry and many hours that must have gone into its creation; however I'm sure there are other folks out there who'll go mad for it.

Currently listed on eBay with a Buy It Now price of $2,000 (I guess that's to reflect the time that went into making this piece but I think it's mightily optimistic).

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Oh no, not another bloody guitar with skulls on it! Enough already!

guitarz.blogspot.com:

Just what is the deal with skulls on guitars? As tired old clichés go, it has to be one of the crappiest. I suppose this particular guitar isn't quite as bad as some as the skulls are relatively subtle, but why have the bloody things at all?

It's a one-off design by Squid (apparently), and has a "weird for the sake of it" body shape. Very strangely for a guitar aimed at the Metal and/or Gothic contingent, the single pickup is in the neck position; I would have thought that for those musical styles the bridge position would have been better placement.

Currently listed on eBay UK with a starting price of £100 and no bids at the time of writing.

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Ghastly heart-shaped guitar covered in illuminated skulls: please feel free to point and laugh

guitarz.blogspot.com:

I've said it before and I will say it again: I really seriously HATE skulls on guitars. It's just such a appallingly naff cliché that I can't imagine anyone wanting such a thing unless they are part of a comedy metal band. Not only has this heart-shaped guitar got skulls all over it, but also their eye sockets light up with red LEDs. Spooky, eh?

I mean, really, WHO is it supposed to appeal to? Even most 12-year old have better taste.

Also, check out that action. OUCH! The pink strings don't help, only serving to draw attention to it.

This horror is currently listed on eBay with a Buy It Now price of $549.99. (Oh look, the auction number ends in 666... it must be a sign or a prophecy or something!)

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Gretsch 7685 with dice fingerboard inlays, dice headstock inlay, and dice control knobs!

guitarz.blogspot.com:

Do you think there's a theme going on here?

Although this 1970s Gretsch 7685 could not be called original with its replacement pickups (Seymour Duncans) and non-original gold Bigsby, the dice inlays on fingerboard and headstock are original to the guitar, this supposedly being a rare model.

I can't say that I like dice-shaped volume and control knobs and the dice inlays, but they are infinitely preferable to that other cliché we see all too often on guitars: skulls.

Anyway, this particulary dusty example pictured here (I guess it hadn't been played in a while) recently sold on eBay UK for £621.99.

G L Wilson

© 2011, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!

Two clichés in one: The Lawson Skull and Axe guitar

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We've not looked at a truly incompetent piece of guitar making for a while now (it would be an insult to all the quality craftsmen out there to refer to a major balls-up such as this as "luthiery"), and with this in mind I present you with the Lawson Skull and Axe guitar (or the New Custom Death Kiss Axe electric guitar w Foyd Rose as the seller calls it), giving you two dreadful clichés in one really terrible guitar. Just look at the crappiness of that thing. I'm amazed they even have the nerve to charge as much as $249 for it.

Despite the name stamped into it, I don't believe that's a real Floyd Rose for one minute. But the one touch that I think is the funniest (aside from the deplorable "artwork") is the location of the strap button on the lower horn as if it's been put there for a left-handed player. The whole thing looks so slapdash, I expect someone probably got confused because of the inverted 6-in-a-line headstock.

Surely this is a guitar ONLY for those in spoof metal bands in the Spinal Tap, Bad News mold. Even then I doubt it's a serious playable instrument.

G L Wilson

Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!

It couldn't be? Not another skull guitar? (Yawn...)

guitarz.blogspot.com:

Wahey! Here's another hideous guitar, in fact it's not just hideous, it's a total cliché. It's a nameless guitar of dubious provenance from a eBay seller of other such nameless guitars. Skulls? Could this be any more unoriginal? (What is it about skulls on guitars? Can someone please explain?)

I'm not sure what the "thing" on the upper horn is supposed to be? A lizard? A dog skull? I think the other "thing" on the lower horn is supposed to be a ghoul of sorts and there's a ghost on the headstock. How spooky!

The wooden-topped pickups are wonkily screwed on, and - call me cynical if you will - to me this would be a hint that the workmanship might be a bit suspect.

I'm actually surprised that this has a starting price of $385 - that seems a bit steep for such a nameless guitar. Note also that the listing title is "Electric Guitar, Unique sculpture: Skull" - that also triggers warning alarms in my head. By calling it a "sculpture" could that suggest that this creation isn't actually playable? Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm just saying "Beware".

Personally I'd give it a wide berth.

G L Wilson

Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!

Oh, here we go again...

guitarz.blogspot.com:

Oh dear! Has this eBay seller been living under a rock? He claims that this assault rifle guitar is "... the most original guitar you will ever find!"

Biggest. Cliché. Ever.

(And, no, it's not a one-off or a rarity of any kind, it's identical to this cheapy K-tone.)

What next? Another toilet seat guitar?

G L Wilson

Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 9th year!

Johnson Guitars USA Chicago Tommy Gun guitar

guitarz.blogspot.com:

There something exceedingly tasteless about a guitar shaped like a gun, not to mention that it's the most appalling cliché. There's always some smart arse who comes up with the idea of a gun-shaped guitar as if it's never been seen before. It's a bit like the jokers who believe they are the very embodiment of wit and the first person to have ever thought of such a prank when they list an "air guitar" on eBay. Yawn...

This Tommy Gun guitar from Johnson Guitars looks to be a cumbersome beast. Note the pickup selector switch as trigger. Even that's not an original idea - see the Colt Peacemaker which has more detailed finishing touchs, although it's equally as obscene as this guitar.

G L Wilson

Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 9th year!

NIN Epiphone Les Paul Gothic

guitarz.blogspot.com:
Nine Inch Nails have created an eBay account especially to sell off their old stage gear - guitars, keyboards, amplifiers, drums, staging, anvil cases, cables, rack/outboard gear, guitar effects, pedal boards, etc. Some items are in working condition and some items, such as this Epiphone Les Paul Gothic, are trashed.

Who in their right mind would pay over $400 for a broken Epiphone Les Paul? Oh... Nine Inch Nails fans. Without the NIN connection, it's worth just a fraction of that. Looking through their past sales there are broken Gibson and Epiphone Les Pauls that have sold for thousands. Crazy!

It's sad really. People are bidding on this (admittedly, not very exciting) guitar, not so they can repair it and make it playable again, but as a NIN souvenir.

I can feel a rant coming on. Isn't trashing your instruments on stage a bit of hoary old cliché now? I find it incredible that bands insist on resorting to such tired worn-out "shock tactics". Even Pete Townshend seems embarrassed by it these days.

I can understand bands want to put on an incredible show, to create a spectacle, but come on... use your imaginations!!! Let's see something NEW and different and exciting. Hell, you could even amaze and excite us with some incredible musicianship! Ever thought of that?

Trashing instruments is up there alongside on-stage nudity and self-abuse as the tired old clichés designed to shock which any self-respecting artists should avoid. Is that really the best they can do?

G L Wilson

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Colt Peacemaker

Terrible cliché aside, there's something quite tasteless and almost offensive about guitars shaped like guns. But then I'm speaking as someone who finds guns abhorrent. Members of the NRA in America would probably love such guitars. And imbeciles like Ted Nugent.

You might expect that this is an American guitar but that is not the case. It was made in England circa 1970 by Jim Cairns (who also made pickups for Burns Guitars).

Irrespective of whether you love or hate it, this Colt Peacemaker Mark II, one of the earlier guitars shaped like guns, has some interesting attention-to-detail features.

The hammer of the gun is the pickup selector, the trigger is the volume control, and the ejector rod is a push/pull tone control.

Apparently Joe Walsh has (had?) one. I'm not sure what that says about him.

Alien USA Skull Hologram guitar

This hologram-topped guitar from Alien Guitars might appeal to those of you out there who like your guitars with skulls on, but to me it's a tired old cliché.

Thanks to G at Iconic Guitars for sharing this.

Cliché Alert!

Looking through some of the current listings on eBay, I'm experiencing déjà vu.

A guitar shaped like a gun.

A guitar made from a toilet seat.

Yawn.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

(Wake me up when someone comes up with an ORIGINAL idea for a novelty guitar).

Bedpan guitar

We've all seen that tired old cliché that is the toilet seat guitar (time and time again, yawn...), but as a variation on the theme this four-stringer is a bedpan guitar.

I'm not quite sure what the deal is with the fake bullet holes.

Spot the cliché. Amusing tuners though.

"Hand Carved Deluxe Work of Art" it says on the listing. However, it's yet another yawn-inducing clichéd design featuring scary skulls. Spooky, eh?

I haven't seen skull-shaped tuners before though. They gave me a laugh.

Pete Townshend vows not to smash another guitar

Pete Townshend: "I will never smash a guitar up again!": The 61-year-old has now decided this trademark has become a cliché, and he has decided to auction the last guitar he smashed up to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Katrina in America's Gulf Coast region. Fans can enter a lottery on website InTheAttic.tv to buy the shattered instrument, signed by Townshend, that the guitarist trashed onstage in Japan in 2004. Here's the video of that final guitar smash: