When Relics Go Bad: Epiphone Dot Studio

guitarz.blogspot.com:

It's the long-awaited return of the occasional Guitarz series, When Relics Go Bad. I personally think that the whole concept of guitars that have been artificially aged is quite ridiculous. Whatever your opinions on the concept, it can't be argued that there are those who excel at the process of creating aged-looking used and abused guitars, and there are those - usually the enthusiastic amateur DIYer - who really should leave well alone.

Take for example this poor unsuspecting Epiphone Dot Studio semi-hollowbody. WHAT was the owner thinking? How would a guitar end up looking like this complete mess even after many years service as a gigged instrument. Unless of course, it is supposed to be the re-creation of a guitar belonging to legendary psychobilly band King Kurt whose live shows were notorious for flour, eggs, paint and all manner of missiles being thrown at the stage.

Thanks to Matt for bringing this abomination to my attention. The eBay seller is asking a Buy It Now price of $375 for this guitar. It might play well, but in this state a price like that is most definitely optimistic. Dreadful

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
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Yikes! The things some people do to guitars could almost make you weep!

guitarz.blogspot.com:

I nearly decided to offer up this photo to you as some kind of competition, as in "What guitar is this?" but I think it's probably too easy a question - not that the shape of the guitar is any giveaway, but rather the pickguard, control layout and tremolo speak volumes as to its true identity before someone took a saw to it and stuck furniture tacks all over it.

What a ghastly thing to do to a 1964 Fender Mustang. I suppose it's no worse than the way in which John Mayall cuts his Strats down to minimal bodies, but it still causes me to shudder. Someone out there is going to say, "I like it", I can just tell. But it's not my idea of customisation.

Currently being offered for sale on eBay - it'll be interesting to see how much this fetches.

G L Wilson

© 2012, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - 10 years and counting!

So-called Art Deco resonator guitar with over-the-top finish and baked bean can detail

guitarz.blogspot.com:

There's no denying that the artwork on this old acoustic guitar (a so-called "Customised Resonator Guitar" even) has been beautifully executed. It is supposedly Art Deco inspired, although I think it is rather too busy to fit in faithfully with that genre. The playing cards around the sides of the guitar are really one step too far and lend it a tacky Las Vegas look rather than one of sophistication which I believe was the desired effect.

What really spoils it is the base from a catering-size tin of baked beans that has been inset where the soundhole once inoffensively appeared. I usually try not to sink to lowest common denominators when describing guitars like this, but in this instance all I can think to say is that it looks crap. Pairing this with a second soundhole insert, quite obviously a strainer intended to sit over the plughole in the kitchen sink, does nothing to help matters. Yes, by all means use these elements on cigar box guitars; they seem to make some sense there and indeed are part of the charm of such instruments. But on an instrument that is trying to look sophisticated, such elements could not be more out of place.

Furthermore, shoving the bottom of a baked bean tin into the top of your guitar will not magically transform it into a resonator. The spun aluminium cone of a resonator guitar is a fine piece of precision engineering. Its function cannot be replicated with the bottom of a bean tin with a few holes punched in it. All that is going to do is to create a few more spurious vibrations and cause the guitar to rattle.

You might consider this a nice example of a piece of folk art and that the Buy It Now price of £270 would be money well spent, but personally I'd give it a miss. If it does actually sound any good, it'll be by accident rather than design. Note that in the YouTube video showing the guitar, the video finishes just before the guitar is about to get played. That alone speaks volumes!

G L Wilson

© 2011, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!

Vintage Yamaha SG-12 twelve-string solidbody which has been rather disturbingly "customised"

guitarz.blogspot.com:

As a particular fan of these early Yamaha solidbody guitars, I do find the "customisation" carried out on this particular Yamaha SG-12 rather distressing. Not only has it been inexpertly painted gold (and with some meaningless name applied to the headstock for who knows what reason), but it is missing the original pickguard, pickups and electrics. The current pickguard is an ugly handcut affair, not helped in being a hefty quarter of an inch thick.

I only hope that whoever did this to such a fantastic old guitar, perhaps didn't have the guitar in a state of completeness to begin with (in which case, someone before must have messed it up).

This guitar is currently listed on eBay, and with one day left to go before the auction finishes the bidding is currently at £399. If this guitar was in original condition, I'd expect it to sell for at least $1000. There was recently another SG-12 on eBay which, alas, was incomplete - there were parts missing such as bridge saddles. That particular guitar sold quite cheaply. It'd be nice to think that whoever bought that one, could buy this example too and assemble a single Yamaha SG-12 as it should be and keep the rest as spares.

Anyway, here's what it SHOULD look like.

G L Wilson

[EDIT: The story of this guitar does not end here. Click here to see what happened next!]

© 2011, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!

1980s Explorer, may or may not be a Gibson, "customized" and with a lurid paint job

guitarz.blogspot.com:

Bill Cesavice kindly flagged this guitar up for me on our Facebook page. Oh dear... where to start with this one?

OK... It's been given a paintjob that I guess might have been inspired by Clapton's CRASH Stratocasters. However, it strikes me as odd to go to all that trouble and then have such a crudely cut-out pickguard which looks as if it's been shaped using a kitchen knife. As for the Gibson stickers on the headstock (I guess because the original logo was painted over), well, the less said the better.

And WHY the three pickups laid out in a Strat formation? That is something that seriously bugs me, the way people think that if you have three pickups you MUST angle the bridge one. Why follow the Strat template? Just what is the logic? Yeah, I know these are singlecoil-sized humbuckers, but still...

So... Gibson or not? Well, it's a set-neck and the shape appears to be accurate so it's perfectly possible that there is a real Gibson beneath the paint, stickers and "customization". But we only have the seller's word on that.

With a Buy It Now price of $900 on eBay, I'd approach this one with caution.

G L Wilson

© 2011, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!

Bodge job alert!

guitarz.blogspot.com:
Bill found this Strat body with an alarming pool extension on eBay, and comments "I think someone may have been trying something like Clapton's Mid Boost circuit. Tragic."

Well, I'm not so sure. It looks to me like someone wanted somewhere to hide illicit substances. (And yes, I do remember the story about a Squier Strat impounded by Customs because they found its body to be made from cocaine.)

Either that, or someone was trying to make one of those easy-to-smash guitars.

G L Wilson

Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 9th year!

When relics go bad... Mexican Tele abused with power tools

guitarz.blogspot.com:
I was going to just let the pictures do the talking, but I want to quote from the eBay listing of this very sorry-looking Telecaster:

You are bidding on a very cool guitar. [Who says I'm bidding? I was just LOOKING! - GLW] It's (sic) name is TED. Once it was a boring, almost offensive Mexican Telecaster with a Fishman Bridge. Now it is an edgy monster of a Telecaster that will get you more compliments than you can imagine. This guitar is in perfect working condition despite its appearance. It was disassembled, decorated, and then put back together with a stacked humbucker in the bridge position. I believe the middle and neck pickup are original. You can obtain an acoustic-electric tone with the Fishman, a traditional Telecaster tone, or both at once. Included in this package is a special sustain enhancing device attached to the headstock, the Fat Finger, made by Groovetube. It doesn't actually increase sustain, but it is a good conversation starter. Enjoy bidding on what some consider a work of art.... and yes, that belly cut was done with a sawzall. This guitar does currently need to be setup, but will play great once it is. A fender gig bag is included in the sale.

Truly dreadful.

What kind of compliments is this seller speaking of? "Hey buddy, you made a good ol' mess of that guitar with your electric drill, didn't ya?"

I would find the comment about the Fat Finger sustain device not helping with sustain but being a "conversation starter" hysterical, if I wasn't so appalled at the gross incompetence so clearly on display here.

G L Wilson

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A Squier Showmaster in distress

guitarz.blogspot.com:

The seller of this Squier Showmaster currently for sale on eBay tells us that:

I did the distressed green finish myself - I can guarantee there is only one like it in the world

You don't say?

G L Wilson

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When Relics Go Bad ... (again)

guitarz.blogspot.com:

At the risk of being accused of writing yet another blog post which has "content generated by other people" (apparently ALL my content is generated by other people - see the comment by "Guest" here), I'm going to share with you this rather inexpert "relic" job on what apears to be an otherwise perfectly good Squier Strat.

This horror was spotted by Suzanne, who comments that "Heavy relic is putting it mildly. That thing looks as if it belonged to Sloth from The Goonies."

G L Wilson

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Another imcompetent DIY job

guitarz.blogspot.com:
If you really really really have to cackhandedly carve up a guitar body, then it may as well be a cheap Strat copy. You wouldn't want to ruin anything decent. Guitarz reader Biliby Iwai suggests that perhaps the desired effect was to make something resembling a Fender Musiclander (aka Swinger). Whatever the intention, it looks bloody awful.

How can anyone imagine such incompetent "customisation" can actually be an improvement? How do they have the nerve to use the word "customised"?

Basically for the Buy It Now price of £18.99 you get some cheap Strat pickups and other hardware. You may as well chuck the body.

G L Wilson

NB: There are a lot of blogs STEALING content and bandwidth. If you read this anywhere else but on guitarz.blogspot.com then you are reading a blog that STEALS content. Please support original bloggers!

When Relics Go Bad

To quote from the eBay listing for this poor Thinline Tele:

"I 'modified' this guitar by dragging the body (without the neck and hardware obviously) down my driveway behind my 66 Mustang and then I set it on fire for a while."

I think that says it all.

Thanks to Rich for emailing me this one.

FIVE pickups on a Strat?

This is one of those "WHY?" guitars.

This Strat-a-like guitar has been fitted with two additional pickups, and wired up so that the 5-position switch can select only one of each of the five pickups at a time. I can't imagine this would be very useful at all. On/off switches for each pickup would surely have been a better idea allowing you to choose pickups in each and every combination you could desire. As it is, it's very silly.

Note also that the seller also has committed the cardinal sin of putting a Fender decal onto the headstock of this non-Fender guitar. It's about time people stopped this illegal and dishonest practice. I don't care if he points out in the listing that it's not actually a real Fender guitar. If it's not a real Fender then the Fender logo does not belong on it. End of story.

I'm still looking for that picture of a Strat with nine pickups.

When Relics Go Bad

The creator of this sorry-looking Telecaster ("I got the parts for it and put it together") claims that it plays better than a $3,500 Fender Custom Shop Relic Telecaster. I'm sure the Fender wouldn't look as much of a dog's dinner as this mess.

This is the problem with DIY "relic" guitars. The creator usually goes too far. This just doesn't look like genuine wear and tear. It looks like exactly what it is - a guitar that someone has deliberately knocked about and taken a sander to.

The seller also informs us that "The guitar's neck was sanded down and has a relic coloring from actual sweat." How, I wonder, did he collect the sweat? Did he carry a bottle and a tube around with him and somehow syphon the sweat into the bottle when working out? Actually, don't answer that. I don't want to know.

For a much more tastefully-realised relic job on a Telecaster, keep checking Cary's Electric Guitar Review.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr... What an IDIOT!

This kind of thing just makes me really angry!





This poor old Strat has been horribly abused. Have you ever seen such an appalling so-called "relic" job? The person who did this should be thoroughly ashamed of themself. Look at the back of the neck where it appears to simply have been set on fire. Check out the melted volume knob - as if that's really going to happen through the wear and tear of constant gigging. The fingerboard has been hacked away mercilessly - it's hardly the effect you'd get through constant playing and genuine use.

I've never been a fan of the whole "relic" phenomenom. The first time I ever saw some Fender Custom Shop relics I laughed my head off - especially when I saw the price. But at least the Fender Custom Shop guys know what they are doing, unlike the complete amateur who butchered the above Strat.

UPDATE: This piece of garbage sold for US $705.00 (approximately £339.00). I despair not only because of the complete ineptitude on display by the guy who carried out the "relic" job on this instrument, but also because it seems that there are people out there who are actually impressed by such amateur butchery.