Showing posts with label Hideous guitars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hideous guitars. Show all posts

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Highly "customized" Martin D-16GT makes me feel more than a little blue.

guitarz.blogspot.com:






I'm just going to leave this here, along with a few quotes from the seller.

"I'm just the type of person that always has to customize things and this production came out of that"

" Most stock guitars I've found have thicker than necessary soundboards that don't resonate as well as if it were thinner, so I thinned the top so that the guitar could respond and resonate better with a lighter softer touch"

" The neck was also thinned down a bit to make it more easier to play, and the fretboard slightly scalloped ( not yngwie malmsteen type scallop as you can tell) giving every note more air/openness and better control over bending and vibrato"

"So if you are crazy left brained perfectionistic about things please go buy yourself a stock whatever"


This custom Martin was listed at $1999 U.S. but see now that the listing has ended.

Did it sell?

The link is still active if you want a complete description from the seller.

R.W. Haller

© 2015, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Luthiery meets taxidermy: the ever-so creepy Zulu War Lord "dead deer and steer" electric guitar

guitarz.blogspot.com:
Mark Rubel saw this rather creepy looking guitar listed on Craigslist in Nashville, where the seller describes it thus:
Classic "Strat Style" Warmoth Body with Compound Radius Neck ~ 1980's Dimarzio pick-ups ~ Just enuf fur, deerskin, and eyeballs for those primal screamistic tones ~ All kidding aside, this guitar sounds and plays really well ~ I purchased it in 1988 in it's "raw" form and decided it needed some "showbiz flair"... call me crazy but I definitely had fun adding the real deerskin and eyeballs from my local taxidermist and the signature steerhorns, which by the way can be removed to fit in any standard soft or hard case. Kahler wammy bar and locking nut system ~ Headstock is left blank so you can "brand in" your name of choice.
$425 offers considered, or possible trades for vintage pygmy blow dart gun ~

Just for once I think I'd prefer the dreaded dice or skull control knobs!

G L Wilson

© 2014, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Mexican-made Fender Telecaster with supposedly professional relic finish

guitarz.blogspot.com:
I was thinking of highlighting this once poor unsuspecting Mexican-made Fender Telecaster as another in our very occasional "When Relics Go Bad" series. But I have to ask, "Is it just me?" I personally think that it looks catastrophically bad. Apparently it was a professional relic job but I couldn't care less how much work went into making it look like this, to my eyes it appears to be a painfully inept piece of work. I just look at it and think, "How would a guitar sustain a distressed finish like this through natural usage? One of the first places you'd expect to see wear and tear would be in the middle of the rear of the body, an area prone to the infamous "belt buckle rash". However on this guitar that particular part of the finish is almost pristine.

You know what? I look at a creation like this and I just don't know what to think any more.

Currently listed on eBay with a Buy It Now price of US $999. And what's more, someone will probably buy it.

G L Wilson

© 2014, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Sunday, 16 February 2014

Calvin and Hobbes guitar and case set... quite astonishing but I can't decide if it's good or bad!

guitarz.blogspot.com:
This custom-built guitar and case set featuring the cartoon strip characters Calvin and Hobbes leaves me nearly speechless. Sometimes there can be a very fine line between what is brilliant and what is a complete pile of crap, and I think this guitar and case is hovering around that mark although I can't quite say which side of the line it might settle. If you were to play this on stage would the members of the audience appreciate what the guitar was supposed to represent, or would you have to bring the case out and stand it upright so that everyone could get the reference? And is it just me that finds it a little bit sinister that the body of the tiger opens up so that the boy can be put inside?

Furthermore, why does the boy (Calvin, I believe... I never followed the strip) seem to be picking his nose, or am I misinterpreting his facial features?

The construction all appears to be quite... how shall we say?... rustic?

Currently listed on eBay with a quite astonishing Buy It Now price of £8,000.

G L Wilson

© 2014, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Sunday, 20 October 2013

Bauer Guitars "Death Of Decency" hand-carved Telecaster (Aaaarrrggghhh! More skulls!)

guitarz.blogspot.com:
Regular readers of Guitarz will likely already know that of all the terrible guitar clichés, my absolute pet hate is skulls on guitars. This hand-carved monstrosity from Bauer Guitars has hundreds of the bloody things, plus tombstones, and even the figure of Death himself with his scythe. I don't know what more I can say about this guitar. It's certainly not my kind of thing despite the artistry and many hours that must have gone into its creation; however I'm sure there are other folks out there who'll go mad for it.

Currently listed on eBay with a Buy It Now price of $2,000 (I guess that's to reflect the time that went into making this piece but I think it's mightily optimistic).

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Yasuki 1980s Japanese-made Les Paul-style guitar with built-in effects

guitarz.blogspot.com:
We've previously looked at other Japanese guitars with built-in effects, drum machines, etc. The LP-style guitar with built in FX that we most commonly seen is the Univox-made example loosely modelled on the original Roland GS500 Guitar Synth Controller. However, the above pictured Yasuki LP-style guitar with built-in FX is modelled on a more traditional LP design, although the addition of the effects unit seems to be almost an after-thought. You would have thought that it would have been more elegant if the effects had been rear-mounted. The least they could have done would have been to put the battery compartment cover on the rear.

You'll notice that this picture showing the effects unit removed from the guitar betrays the ultra-cheap construction method of Les Paul copies from this era; the arched top of the guitar is achieved with bent plywood on top of a solid (plywood) body - and with a big pocket of air between the two! You just know that this guitar is never going to sound like a real Gibson.

Currently listed on eBay UK with a Buy It Now price of £399.

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Sunday, 15 September 2013

Bizarro so-called resonator guitar being offered for sale on eBay

guitarz.blogspot.com:
The eBay listing for this Highway Key supposed "resonator guitar" starts as follows:
You are bidding [No, I'm not, I'm just looking] on a one of a kind, custom made acoustic/electric resonator from Highway Key Guitars. This model is # 29 in a limited series. Vintage blonde Sprucetop classical body. Comfortable red stained neck and back.Unique steel "cakepan" floating resonator pan houses hotrodded single coil pickup wired to vol/tone & 1/4in jack covertly placed on back. Blacked out reso pan and knobs compliment the custom headstock. This is a Blonde Bombshell!
Excuse me, but a true resonator guitar features a spun steel cone which has the BRIDGE of the guitar floating at its centre point. I can't believe that the same sound can be achieved by someone cutting a large hole in the top of a cheap acoustic guitar and shoving a cake tin into it. If this thing pictured here has any kind of mojo or idiosyncratic sound (most likely some subjectively "interesting" rattling noises), it must be purely accidental.

Currently listed on eBay with a Buy It now price of $269.

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Saturday, 14 September 2013

Oh no, not another bloody guitar with skulls on it! Enough already!

guitarz.blogspot.com:
Just what is the deal with skulls on guitars? As tired old clichés go, it has to be one of the crappiest. I suppose this particular guitar isn't quite as bad as some as the skulls are relatively subtle, but why have the bloody things at all?

It's a one-off design by Squid (apparently), and has a "weird for the sake of it" body shape. Very strangely for a guitar aimed at the Metal and/or Gothic contingent, the single pickup is in the neck position; I would have thought that for those musical styles the bridge position would have been better placement.

Currently listed on eBay UK with a starting price of £100 and no bids at the time of writing.

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Monday, 22 July 2013

A gumby-shaped DIY furry guitar currently listed on eBay UK

guitarz.blogspot.com:
I'm trying to work out quite what the original body shape is beneath all that fur fabric on this self-made fluffy guitar currently listed on eBay UK. Despite the Telecaster hardware, the shape now appears to be "gumby"-like.

I'm not really sure who it's supposed to appeal to. Perhaps a glam-rock covers party band? Or a Wombles or Banana Splits tribute band maybe?

Currently listed on eBay UK with a Buy It Now price of £220.

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Sunday, 16 June 2013

Ghastly heart-shaped guitar covered in illuminated skulls: please feel free to point and laugh

guitarz.blogspot.com:
I've said it before and I will say it again: I really seriously HATE skulls on guitars. It's just such a appallingly naff cliché that I can't imagine anyone wanting such a thing unless they are part of a comedy metal band. Not only has this heart-shaped guitar got skulls all over it, but also their eye sockets light up with red LEDs. Spooky, eh?

I mean, really, WHO is it supposed to appeal to? Even most 12-year old have better taste.

Also, check out that action. OUCH! The pink strings don't help, only serving to draw attention to it.

This horror is currently listed on eBay with a Buy It Now price of $549.99. (Oh look, the auction number ends in 666... it must be a sign or a prophecy or something!)

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Have you ever seen a more out-of-place headstock on a guitar?

guitarz.blogspot.com:
I take one look at this 1980s B.C. Rich acoustic guitar and can't help but demand "What were they thinking?"

A pointy headstock? On a dreadnaught? Madness!

I'm not averse to 6-in-a-line headstocks on acoustic guitars. Fender, for example, have used Strat-like headstocks on their acoustic guitars since the 1960s, and I always quite liked that look. But a pointy 1980s jobbie like this? Perhaps my lack of approval stems from the fact that I never liked pointy headstocks like these on ANY guitars, let alone a poor unsuspecting dreadnaught-styled acoustic.

But of course such things are subjective. Even though I hate it, someone else will probably love it. If that person is reading this blog entry, they may like to know that this guitar, located in Georgia in the USA, is currently listed on eBay and has a starting price of $145.

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

An Epiphone neck attached to... What on Earth is THAT supposed to be?

guitarz.blogspot.com:

Do you think someone actually consciously DESIGNED this guitar body?

My guess is that it's the result of randomly cutting out shapes from a piece of wood with a jigsaw. It does have a vague heraldic look to it, but I'm sure that is through accident rather than design.

Currently listed on eBay UK with a quite astonishingly optimistic Buy It Now price of £500.

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!
Please read our photo and content policy.

Friday, 22 February 2013

A cartoon guitar for the southpaws: Fernandes Um Jammer Lammy

guitarz.blogspot.com:
We've looked at one of these guitars before, but if I remember correctly this example is more faithful to that pictured in the original Um Jammer Lammy video game artwork, being left-handed. If you want names and model numbers, it's a Fernandes UJL-2000, but it's easier to remember as the cartoon guitar based loosely on the Les Paul design. According to the eBay seller:
It is a three-dimensionalized guitar that Um Jammer Lammy, lead guitarlist for a band "Milkcan", main protagonist uses in the video game, "Um Jammer Lammy" published by Sony for the PlayStation video game console. Looks a toy but was built carefully by a Japanese famous make, Fernandes. It has 609 mm / 24 inch scale as Fender Mustang has.
The weird thing about this particular example is that it's been converted to right-handed playing. Imagine, someone actually chose to play this strange-looking guitar and then played it upside-down! How odd that must have looked. Hopefully for the adventurous-minded southpaw, it won't be too difficult to convert back to left-handed.

Currently being offered for auction on eBay with a starting price of $1,499.99.

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Pizza Hut guitar!

guitarz.blogspot.com:
Other than to say that the base colour for the back and sides of the body would have been better if it was more "doughy" or at least yellow, is there really anything I need to say about this promotional Pizza Hut guitar?

Currently listed on eBay with a Buy It Now price of $249. What a shame there isn't a vegetarian option.

G L Wilson

© 2013, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - the blog that goes all the way to 11!

Saturday, 15 December 2012

Unicorn guitar from Screaming Leaming

guitarz.blogspot.com:
Screaming Leaming has created guitars for the likes of KISS, WASP, Rick Derringer, Black Sabbath, Megadeth, Van Halen and others; we previously looked at another of his 6-string creations here.

This Unicorn guitar, again carrying the Gearhead brandname, is the kind of thing that several years ago I'd scour eBay for in order to get a few cheap laughs on the blog. It has that unusual distinction of being quite dreadful and quite wonderful at the same time. The seller claims that it is an "exceptional guitar" which "plays super nice", but I do have to wonder what condition it was in before it had a "$250.00 action job done to it".

Currently listed on eBay with a starting price of $3550 (ouch!) and a Buy It Now price of $3790 (more ouch!).

For my other favourite horsey guitar, be sure to check out the Dobbincaster!

G L Wilson

© 2012, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - 10 years and counting!

Friday, 14 September 2012

Another Fender design butchered: the "Melted Smurf" Telecaster

guitarz.blogspot.com:

I just cannot imagine what was going through the mind of the perpetrator of this eccentric piece of customisation. Fender fans may take some solace in the fact that it is not a genuine Fender Telecaster, although allegedly some of the parts are Fender-made (that could just be the control knobs for all I can tell).

Currently being offered for sale on eBay UK with a highly optimistic Buy It Now price of £390.

Thanks to Dan who brought this abomination to my attention on Twitter.

G L Wilson

© 2012, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - 10 years and counting!

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Double Dragon guitar offers impractical body design and very silly headstock shape

guitarz.blogspot.com:
A few years ago we here at Guitarz were accused of only ever showing hideous or amusing guitars on the blog rather than beautiful or desireable guitars. I do believe that we have reversed that situation in the intervening years, but I am still drawn to the occasional abomination that I would like to share, such as the Double Dragon guitar pictured here which is currently being offered for sale on eBay with a starting price of $275.

I suspect it may be from the same Far Eastern maker that produced the Squashed Frog (supposedly another "double dragon") and whatever this is supposed to be. My guess is that these guitars are inspired by some of ESP's wilder Japanese guitar designs (you know, the ones featuring angels with intricately feathered wings), but I doubt these are of similar quality. What is similar is the totally impractical design, and what must surely be the worst headstock design I've seen since the Kramer Triax. Did they not know that a straight string pull is desireable?

G L Wilson

© 2012, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!

Monday, 27 February 2012

Bad Week for the Mockingbird


After the ugly carved Mockingbird we saw a few days ago, words fail me to describe this guitar. I'm not a shy guy, I appreciate radicalness, but bad taste seems to have no limits... 

The only thing I appreciate is that the pointy and blady parts are made of real stainless steel, so its owner is likely to hurt himself with it - and he deserves it...

Bertram

© 2012, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!

Friday, 24 February 2012

The curse of the carved guitar: hideous Mockingbird copy


O brothers in guitarhood, let's lament on this new manifestation of the evil that creeps if the dark depths of human's psyche... 

In spite of the horrid carving job, you all recognized the unforgettable Mockingbird design - the emblematic B.C. Rich guitar, from a time when they created several alternative designs and not just ugly metal-oriented pointy guitars. 

I often have the feeling that in democracies, people easily misuse their freedom for pointless things and accept being controlled for what really matters. What can one do to a guitar is one of these abuses...

Bertram

© 2012, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!

Monday, 23 January 2012

R. Howells one-off metal bass guitar - one for the scrap heap, perhaps?

guitarz.blogspot.com:
Part of me really wants to like this "one-off R. Howells handmade metal bass guitar" currently being offered for sale on eBay UK, as someone has gone to a lot of trouble to engineer this piece completely out of metal (which metal, we aren't told).

But another part of me wants to scream, "No no, it's all wrong!" The neck looks exceedingly long, but perhaps that's because the body is small. It may be my imagination, or else the angle of the photograph, but in the full length picture it looks as if the neck is wider up at the nut than it is at the body end. I suspect that it is actually parallel along its length, which would be unusual but not unusable. Of course, playability would all depend on how it intonates. Are the frets positioned correctly for the scale length? They may be, but the cynic in me thinks that this is unlikely.

Look at the engineering of the tuners which are integral to the headstock. I have to wonder if this perhaps was a project by maybe an apprentice metalworker. A certain R. Howells, most likely!

Down at the other end of the bass we find a very solid piece of hardware with adjustable retainers for each string. Quite what purpose these are supposed to serve, I do not know, for they are behind the bridge - which itself does not seem to have saddles of any kind. Maybe the tailpiece blocks are intended as fine tuners, but this does seem a weird inclusion where adjustable saddles would be considerably more useful.

The angled jack on the face of the bass is a nice touch, as are the hand-turned contol knobs, but this bass has not been wired up nor has it been finished having only a dummy pickup mounted in its aluminium pickguard. (And considering the detailed metalwork elsewhere, why does the pickguard look so crudely cut out? Was it finished in a hurry, perhaps?)

This would probably make a better sculpture than a working bass guitar. A lot of hard work has obviously gone into it, so it's only a pity that it resembles a child's drawing of an electric guitar.

Currently listed on eBay with a starting price of £100.

G L Wilson

© 2012, Guitarz - The Original Guitar Blog - now in its 10th year!

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